Oh college how I miss thee. Times, however, appear to have changed a little bit. Butt chugging is now a thing as well as stuffing alcohol soaked tampons in your ass. I don’t get it but who am I to judge? This is coming from the guy who smoked chewing tobacco out of a bong for some reason. Anyway, this kid is one hospital visit away from a news press conference to deny he ever had a tube funneling beer into his rectum.
Adweek: It looks like New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow is finally getting a starring role. Unfortunately for him, it won’t be on the field against the Jaguars this Sunday. It’s in this new ad for TiVo. The company announced in two videos last month that Tebow would be its new brand ambassador—and not just because his name sounds almost identical to its own. “He is a highly Googled, highly buzzed-about, talked-about athlete as there is in the world,” CEO Tom Rogers told Bloomberg. “We’re going to make much better use of him than the Jets have this season.” Well, have they? The new spot opens with Tebow lounging in a spare living room with two children explaining that they just got a TiVo. “Mom did a TiVo search on you … Now, whenever you’re on a show, any show, it gets recorded,” says the sister. “And then, she watches you in sloooow-mo,” chimes in the shaggy headed little brother. “My dad is not your biggest fan right now,” says the girl. “I can’t see why,” Tebow replies with a smile. “TiVo makes TV about a thousand times better,” he says in the closing voiceover. If this whole football thing doesn’t work out, he won’t have acting to fall back on, either.
My name’s Tim Tebow and I don’t know what to do with my hands right now and for some reason I keep shrugging my shoulders to make my talking look more animated! Jesus Christ TT, I’d say don’t quit your day job but that doesn’t seem to be working out for ya either. Watching these TiVo ads is like walking in on your parents having sex. I’m just cringing at the awkwardness of him trying to read lines and answer questions not related to football or the bible. Tim just relax! This is about the most action you’re going to see all year minus the sweat you break praying before game time. Make the best of it because this is most likely your future talking to a camera and not playing football in front of it. Tebow, makes Tivo…about a thousand times more awkward.
Let’s put aside the fact that these things look like something my 12 year old sister put together in science class for a second. Which part of these drones are worth $35,000? That Kamikaze guidance system or the Captain Sully landing gear? No wonder these things have the accuracy of Shaq at the free throw line, they probably get picked off by the Taliban’s kids holding slingshots. What ever happened to these things: