Tag: subway

Can Blacks Really Be Racist Towards Whites?

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I’ve always wondered this. I don’t think I’ve ever been offended by one racist comment ever. In all honesty, is there anything that REALLY offends white people? Cracker, Honky, White Bread, Cornbread? It just doesn’t bother me. I’m listening to this guy and I actually thought it was the funniest shit ever. I’ve witnessed the Black Panthers in Times Square and I thought it was more interesting than anything else. Now I’m far from religious but even I know this guy is clearly making shit up from the Bible. “Because the white man will not put up a black Jesus Christ at the White House, God made him–all white people homosexual.” I lived on the border of Hells Kitchen and Chelsea last year and I’ll tell you, I probably would’ve believed this guy if I never left the area. Neighborhood was as flaming as Hell itself. But come on man, ALL white men? There IS one point he made that I cannot say shit about. “All Negros are holy and sanctified. That’s why you can’t play basketball with them. They can beat you and laugh at you.” Got me there buddy. I got nothing.

He then goes on to ask “Do I have any questions?” Holy shit, how does nobody ask this guy anything?! I woulda been raising my hand like back in the 2nd grade when you actually used your other hand to try and make your hand go up even farther saying “Oh, oh, oh!” Instigating these kinds of people is what I live for. I would’ve turned that train into a White House press conference. “So sir, where do you get your facts?” “Is that bucket also what you shit and piss in?” “What are your thoughts on Casey Anthony?” I mean shit people. He gave you a golden opportunity and you all blew it! Preach on my friend, preach on!

Side note: Is that a spear he’s holding? Just wondering…

 

Who Is To Blame?

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Where to even start with this shit. First of all, multiple people break Rule #1 and by breaking rule #1, look at what happens. Subway gold! Now chica here is far from innocent and I have no idea why anyone is standing up for her, but change cars if you don’t want to listen to her babbling. If people reacted this way in the NYC subway all the time it would look like Wrestle Mania. I’m talking chairs, tag teams, illegal weapons, and fatalities. Oh, you’re singing to god lady? Well look at where that got you. Two dudes are swinging at each other, you’re being thrown off the train, and everyone on the subway is now choosing sides in the fight. This is the classic case of when foreigners try to act like they don’t speak English and when shit doesn’t go their way, they learn Rosetta Stone in 2 seconds. Don’t sit there and try to proclaim your innocence!

Question. Did anyone predict that Asian to come out swinging like that? He totally caught me off guard and I’m pretty sure that guy as well. Who is to blame here?

Japanese People Love Getting Stuffed On Their Subway

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So some of you may have seen this before. I know it looks like the 6 train during rush hour on a Monday morning but this is actually  the daily commute in Japan. They actually have workers whose job it is to pack these trains as tight as they possibly can. I’m claustrophobic as all hell and it was hard to watch these videos. Can’t even imagine what it’s like in there. I think I’ll wait for the next one guys, thanks! People just nose to nose breathing all over each other. And what happens when they get to the next station and those doors open? It must be like those little fake cans of peanuts that have the spring inside them. BAM! Just people all over the platform.

It would be a pretty cool job to have though. I would line up like a D-line man and just bull rush that door. Yea people might get hurt but hey, that’s the risk you take by riding the Japanese subway. And why don’t they have Sumo wrestlers doing this? Wouldn’t that help speed the process up a little? It looks like they pick the smallest assholes around to pack these trains. Just think about these poor fucks next time you’re whining that you’re packed on a train and maybe you’ll have a new appreciation.

I Wanna Hang Out With This Guy!

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She’s a maniac, mannnniac on the floor. And she’s dancing like she’s never danced–lean back! lean back! My man just went from Michael Sembello to Fat Joe in less than 2 seconds. He’s mixing songs like he’s got two turntables and a crowd of thousands in front of himself. How is no one paying this dude attention!? I 100% understand how he has all that money in his pocket because I would probably give him everything I had on me including my girlfriend. Not really sure what he’s saving up for but he’s the happiest man on the train and probably has the least amount to be happy about. That’s life for ya! Anyway, it’s Friday and this guy is the perfect way to start the weekend. Have a good one everyone!

Personal Hygiene

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Fresh off the 7 train…Don’t hate on this guy! I’m sure dude’s got a huge date coming up tonight and he’s just trying to get his shit together. I like his style too. Make due with what you got around you. “Damn I forgot my comb at my cardboard box under the bridge. Oh look, a fork on the ground!” I also love how oblivious he is to the person filming directly across from him. Either that or he could give two fucks cause he knows he’s gettin’ it in tonight! Comb on old man, comb on.

Subway Creature Maces Kid

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Now what did we learn today kids? Don’t fuck with a pig hooker who is bigger than your 300 lb mother. I never thought I’d say this but I have to side with RuPaul on this one. Fuckin’ little kids couldn’t keep their mouths shut and you know what, the hooker gave you plenty of warnings. It’s his/her birthday tomorrow for christ sakes! I have no idea what this fight is over nor do I care, but I will say that I’m pretty sure this lil bastard will think twice next time he opens his mouth around a 6’5” zoo animal. Unfortunately the kids brother (the one who looks like the fat kid from Nutty Professor “Hercules! Hercules!”) didn’t get his share of mace. But that’s fine because his punishment is now dealing with his blind, crying brother and mother. Not to mention what his mother is going to do to him once she regains vision.

Lady Luck

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Let’s make one thing clear right off the bat, this is not a sudden earthquake in the subway. No, this chick is as fucked up as Courtney Love and she picked the worst timing possible to try out that new dance move everyone has been telling her about. Oh! Trying to sneak a nice little ciggie in before your train ride, huh? Your body is at the point of the night where it says “fuck you! I’m done!” (Trust me, I’ve been there) Playing dead is not the way I would personally deal with this situation as a train is bearing down on you but hey, what do I know? She honestly doesn’t move like she’s in Jurassic Park and the train is a T-Rex. And who saw that ending coming?! The train stops right above her lifeless body and everyone is OK? I think not. What about all the people in that front car of the train who are probably piled on top of each other right now because of how fast that train went from 60-0 MPH?

The injustice here is that we don’t get the audio of what that conductor says when she opens the front door of the train to find this bitch passed out. “The fuck is this bitch doing under ma goddamn train?! I’ll tell you what sugar, by the time I’m done with you, you gon’ wish this train ran ya ass ova!” God I love impressions but I seriously hope drunkie went straight to the store and bought a Powerball ticket. Either way she’s gonna die because they didn’t make 5 Final Destinations for nothing.