The NJ PATH Escalator Went Reverse This Morning With A Lot Of People On It

Gothamist: Five people suffered minor injuries in a bizarre and terrifying escalator malfunction at the Exchange Place PATH station this morning. Because really, the last thing you want to have happen on a Monday morning is to have your crowded “up” escalator start going down. Fast. Port Authority spokesman Ron Marsico confirmed that five people were hurt when the escalator started moving in the wrong direction. “Fortunately none life-threatening,” he added. The cause of the accident is not currently clear—however we wouldn’t be surprised if the damage from Hurricane Sandy had something to do with it. This escalator accident comes almost exactly a year after an escalator malfunction at the World Trade Center PATH station caused serious headaches and claustrophobia-inducing photos (but thankfully no injuries).

 

Not gonna lie, I couldn’t help but laugh at the beginning of this. Men jumped up, laying on the side of the escalator like the Titanic going down. Maybe if we weren’t the fattest country in the world people could keep walking up the escalator like a stair master instead of all them piling up at the bottom. OR maybe someone could’ve just hit that big red STOP button. Either way dying in an escalator accident must be one of the worst ways to go out. And as for the bitch screaming at the end like a train just ran her over, I get that it’s scary but man up!

Funniest Prank Ever: Guy Pushes Friend Off Boat At Oncoming Shark

 

Hahaahahahahahahahaha! O-M-G! What a knee slapper! Get it?! You totally almost got eaten by that shark! I guess comedy is a little different in other countries because I’m pretty sure that’s 10-15 for attempted murder here in the states. Like telling dirty jokes and giving wedgies must be so lame for these guys. Throwing their friend at an incoming shark is the only way to get a laugh out of them. Tough crowd.

AskMen’s List Of Most Desirable Women Of 2013 Is Some Real Bullshit

So here’s what AskMen claims to be their top 20 most desirable women of 2013. 20) Claire Danes 19) Naomie Harris 18) Olivia Munn 17) Zooey Deschanel 16) Cheryl Cole 15) Emilia Clarke 14) Christina Hendricks 13) Blake Lively 12) Sofia Vergara 11) Candice Swanepoel 10) Michelle Jenneke 9) Jessica Pare 8) Jessica Gomes 7) Kristen Stewart 6) Miranda Kerr 5) Emma Stone 4) Rihanna 3) Kate Upton 2) Mila Kunis 1) Jennifer Lawrence.

Now I’m not sure what exactly ‘desirable’ means in this case but if I’m making a top 20 list, it would look a lot different. A few I can agree with but for the most part here’s what I’m going with and I doubt I’m alone:

Throw It On The Christmas List; Things I Absolutely Don’t Need But Want

5. This robotic arcade game thingy. Who wouldn’t want this?

 

4. Never skied a day in my life. These make me want to start…

 

3. A waterproof pool table? That you can actually use in a pool? Yes please!

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2. Indoor Virtual Golf. I mean why the fuck not? Play a round and not even have to leave my home? Of course I want this!

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1. Candice Swanepoel. I really don’t think this is asking for a lot so someone please make it happen.

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Why Wouldn’t You Want To Watch Four Midgets Race A Camel?

 

It’s blatantly obvious who the dead weight is here. Runner #2 moves about as fast as…well, I guess you can say a midget on a race track. Save me the bullshit of ‘well their legs are too small’ cause that last guy must be like the Usain Bolt of midgets. Little man turned on the after burners and actually caught up to the camel to make it a race. And what kind of half ass retarded camel did they put these guys up against? That thing came rounding the corner like someone broke it’s leg but still made it race.

Someone Filmed A Butt Chug Over The Weekend

 

Oh college how I miss thee. Times, however, appear to have changed a little bit. Butt chugging is now a thing as well as stuffing alcohol soaked tampons in your ass. I don’t get it but who am I to judge? This is coming from the guy who smoked chewing tobacco out of a bong for some reason. Anyway, this kid is one hospital visit away from a news press conference to deny he ever had a tube funneling beer into his rectum.