Tag: subway

Crazy Homeless Guy Gets Knocked Out On The Q Train

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WARNING: TURN DOWN VOLUME!

When you troll as hard as this sidewalk sleeper, I would consider getting knocked out a moral victory. If that’s the least that happened to him screaming the N word in a black guy’s face on the subway in Queens, then he should count his blessings. He’ll still wake up homeless but he’ll still be alive. On second thought maybe a quick death was what he was going for.

Zombie Apocalypse Continues In The Subway As Man Bites Off Passenger’s Ear

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If you don’t have the strength the push a 67 year old geriatric off you while he eats your dignity and other Asians take pictures like they’re in Times Square, then you deserve to lose your ear as well as your balls. Scary scenario but come on, you’re 40 years younger!

Typical Douche Boston Fan Licks Entire Subway Railing For $1

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Kid’s parents must be proud. I’m 99.9% sure a homeless bum wouldn’t even do this for $1. You know why? Because even a bum knows that he touches that railing everyday gimping into the subway after sifting through garbage with his hand down his pants. $1 doesn’t even get you half way to paying your subway fare so you still have 2 railings to go shithead. Hope it was worth it cause your mouth is now as clean as Magic Johnson’s dick while inside Pamela Anderson’s pussy. If anyone recognizes this subway entrance please share with us so I can never go in it ever again.

Side note: I no longer blame the Asians for wearing gloves and masks all over NYC and I give this kid one week to live.

Girl Pisses Herself In Subway; Proceeds To Shower

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99% of me believes this is staged because let’s be honest, who carries soap, a gallon of water, towels and sandals in their bag “just in case they piss themselves and need to shower.” Worst acting ever and the lengths people will go to make a viral video are crazy.

Side note: The real part of this that blows my mind is how ashy this bitches feet are. A bottle of lotion per foot could MAYBE do the trick.

Drunk Guy Falls Onto Tracks, Gets Robbed, Subsequently Run Over By Train

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BroBible: Admittedly, this is a tough video to watch. Provided that you don’t have a death-by-train fetish. The basic backstory goes that a drunk man stumbling around the subway platform in Sweden, lost his footing and took a header into the tracks. Another man saw this, jumped down onto the tracks, burglarized the lifeless body before him and then left him there. Seconds later, a train comes — man still lying there — and runs right over his body. Unfathomably, he survived. Well, actually only eighty-percent of him survived as doctors have to amputate his one leg but he’s still breathing and has use of his brain so that’s a win.

 

Let’s look at this optimistically, the guy somehow survived. He may be down one leg but he’s alive. And not to throw salt in his crushed leg wound, but what was the guy who robbed him going to do anyway? Dude was drunk and knocked the fuck out laying on the tracks like he was on Sealy Posturepedic. Yea, yea, he coulda flagged the train down but he just robbed the guy. He’s gotta get rid of the witnesses! Only thing that sucks for the robber is that from the looks of how drunk that dude was, I highly doubt there was any money left in his wallet anyway.

And Your Caption Contest Winner Is…

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Ashley G. – “May I have your attention please. I’m raising money for my basketball team by selling these anime porn pillows. Would you like to support my basketball team?”

There were a bunch a great entries this week but for anyone who has ever rode a subway train in NYC, you’ve seen the kids selling candy for their basketball team. Nailed it on this one. Think you can do better? Join the next caption contest by “LIKING” CitySubwayCreatures on Facebook and every Thursday we will have a new picture. Thanks for everyone who participated!

https://www.facebook.com/CitySubwayCreatures