Deadspin: It is confirmed, per Richard Deitsch. ESPN’s newest star, the lady who worked her way from being a ESPN Zone hostess to college football sideline reporter, is getting hitched to the Vikings’ second-year quarterback.
Goddamn it Christian Ponder! Give a man a chance! Sam Steele is on the scene for 2 seconds and you’re balls deep in the her. Next thing you know you’re throwing a ring on her finger and calling her Mrs. Ponder. But you know what, I’m gonna look at this optimistically. One less threat out for me. Sam I still see you and when your boy loses his starting job and you catch him bottoming out in Erin Andrews, don’t say I didn’t tell you so. The guy has Tiger Woods Syndrome written all over his face.
Not a huge basketball fan…actually could care less about the sport but when I see shit like this go on in the NBA, it’s definitely worthy of a post. Paul Pierce looked like he’s turning 66-years old when he reached in on that Joe Johnson dribble. I feel like putting a dude on his ass like that plus making the shot is equivalent to a running back trucking a DB in the secondary for a TD, a hockey player dangling the shit out of a goalie, an outfielder robbing a hitter of a homerun, or a golfer eagle-ling a par 5. You get the idea. Hey Paul, here’s a rag. Wipe JJ’s splooge from your face!
ESPN: The Rockets intend to fine rookie Royce White for every day he remains away from the team or does not attend sessions with a therapist arranged by the team, according to a report by the Houston Chronicle. White, the 16th pick in June’s draft, has remained absent from the team in a dispute over how the Rockets are helping him confront his anxiety disorder. Rockets owner Leslie Alexander on Tuesday said that there were “internal repercussions” for White missing practices and games. The Rockets have arranged for White to be treated by Dr. Aaron Fink of Baylor College of Medicine, but White has not attended those sessions, according to the Chronicle. White reportedly has expressed concerns to Fink that the problem between himself and the Rockets is about “support” rather than anxiety. “In hindsight, perhaps it was not a good idea to be open and honest about my anxiety disorder — due to the current situations at hand that involve the nature of actions from the Houston Rockets,” White said in a statement released by his publicist Tuesday night. “As a rookie, I want to settle into a team and make progress, but since [the] preseason, the Rockets have been inconsistent with their agreement to proactively create a healthy and successful relationship.” The 6-foot-8 White made a deal with the team to travel by bus to some games this season, so he could confront his fear of flying and obsessive compulsive disorder over the long term. He flew with the team to its season opener in Detroit, then traveled by bus to games at Atlanta and Memphis. White, who has yet to play in a game, did not attend Monday’s game against Miami, Tuesday’s practice or Wednesday’s game with New Orleans. He says on his Twitter account that the Rockets have been “inconsistent” in helping him. The Rockets have no plans to trade or release White, according to the Chronicle.
And this folks, is exactly why you don’t take a chance on an OCD, anxiety-filled first round draft pick. Royce White couldn’t even sit with his own family during the draft and has heart palpitations at just the thought of getting on a plane. But let’s take a chance on him and maybe all of that will go away by the time the season starts. Nope. And it’s only going to get worse. If all this negative media attention doesn’t put Royce in a coma, he at least will have a complete meltdown if he hasn’t already. Hey Royce, you think anyone LIKES flying?! Do what the rest of us do; chase a couple Xanax with a stiff drink and get to where you need to go. And as for the Rockets, you knew what you were getting yourselves into when you picked the guy who was curled up in the corner of a dark closet watching the draft. You took a gamble and you lost…on to the next!
A dive for the ages folks! Firework goes off 15 feet away from the goalie and he instantly goes down grabbing his head like an IED just went off and he’s missing half his face. Oh I’m sorry, did that hurt your ears? Funny you can take 80,000 fans screaming and chanting as loud as any other sport but when someone throws a party popper onto the field you need a stretcher and an ENT doctor on spot immediately. It’s always the best when something else happens that makes the player forget about his injury. Guess your hearing isn’t that bad since you clearly heard your teammates say incoming. Unreal how this sport is tolerated.
Deadspin: It’s been six years since Tiki Barber retired from football, which means we’ve spent six years watching him desperately try and failat becoming some kind of relevant media personality. Having washed out of the television business, Tiki is on to much sadder things. He recently co-founded Thuzio, a company that allows regular Joes like you and me to pay large sums of money in exchange for the chance to hang out with famous athletes. You can have Ryan Tannehill (!) show up at your fantasy draft for the low cost of $5,000. Ivan Nova will show up at your party for the low price of $4,000. Thuzio is like an escort service for especially lonely sports fans. The most depressing thing of all, though, is the fact that Tiki Barber is the cheapest athlete in Thuzio’s stable. Tiki’s highest appearance fee is $1,000 for a round of golf or party attendance. Larry Holmes costs $6,250 per hour. Shit, even Tim Hardaway, the noted ex-homophobe, fetches a higher price than poor Tiki. Now, it’s possible that Tiki’s fees could be marked down as a way to make him more accessible and thus drum up good publicity for the company. Still: getting trumped by the likes of Ryan Tannehill and Tim Hardaway is sad in any context. And then there’s this: an auction for Tiki’s services as a karaoke partner. So far one bid for $350 has been placed.
Oh how the mighty have fallen! Ex-communicated from your old team, ditch your preggo wife for an intern, fired as an NFL analysis on NBC, ignored by every NFL team in the league after trying to make a comeback, a failed tryout with the NY Jets Flight Crew, turned down as a peanut vendor in MetLife Stadium, and now this. Just whoring himself out to people who have more money than they know what to do with. My question is what in the hell is Ryan Tannehill and Ivan Nova doing wrapped up in this prostitution ring? Does anyone have ANY pride left??
As long as the Bears can block for 2 seconds, their offense is gonna score 70. The defense is gonna score 50 and special teams gonna score at least 30!
Safe to say this garbage picker was shooting for the stars a little bit with that bold 150 point prediction. Hope he didn’t bet all his cigarettes on that OVER though since both teams put up a combined score of 19 in one of the most boring NFL games of the week.
SubwayCreatures 